Assertiveness

The quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology, it is a learnable skill and mode of communication:

1) Passive2) Passive Agressive3) Agressive4) Assertive
Emotionally dishonest, Indirect, Inhibited, Self-denying, Blaming, Apologetic Emotionally dishonest, Indirect, Selfdenying at first. Self-enhancing at the expense of others later Inappropriately honest, direct, expressive, attacking, blaming, controlling, self-enhancing at the expense of others Appropriately honest, direct, self-enhancing, expressive, self-confident, empathic to emotions to all involved

In what kind of communication mode are you? Recently I met a person, that was blaming, controlling, self-enhancing and rather direct. Have you met such a person? Assertiveness is often linked to self-esteem. Self-esteem is attractive because researchers have conceptualized it as an influential predictor of certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, work performances and job satisfaction.

In order to measure your assertiveness level (awareness), TalEction have developed a skill test (the test is not a personality test) indicating your level of assertiveness; low (1-4), medium (4-6) and high (7-9).

Awareness levelAs individualAs employee
HighSelf-assured, respectful, listener, self-awared, choose own friendsDesign thinker, transformer, team-worker, growth, agile
LowProtective, disrespectful, lack of self-confidence, attracted by toxic people, always in the comfort zone, lack of self-controlWaterfalls environments, silo,transactions, design > design thinking, unclear communication, fixed mindset

In the Big 5 theory of personality, extroversion (often known as extraversion) is one of the five core traits believed to make up human personality. Extroversion (E) is characterized by sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness (E3 facet), and excitability. People, who are high in extroversion, tend to seek out social stimulation and opportunities to engage with others. These individuals are often described as being full of life, energy and positivity. In group situations, extroverts(extraverts) are likely to talk often and assert themselves.

Introverts, on the other hand, are people who are low in extroversion. They tend to be quiet, reserved and less involved in social situations. It is important to note that introversion and shyness are not the same things. People low in extraversion are not afraid of social situations, they simply prefer to spend more time alone and do not need as much social stimulation.

According to a study, carried out by professor Hilmar Nordvik, data included test protocols from 1398 people, 48.6% women and 51.4% men. The age range was from 16 to 80 years with mean values 30.1 years and SD 10.5 years: Assertiveness got the following OCEAN scores:
Neuroticism: negative correlated: - .44
Extraversion: positive correlated: + .42
Openness to Experience: neutral correlated: +.11
Agreeableness: negative correlated: -.35
Conscientiousness: neutral/medium correlated: +.24

For people who score high on neuroticism, assertiveness is difficult. Anxious, depressed and vulnerable people find it difficult to distinguish themselves. Therefore, the negative charge for Assertiveness is about as high on Neuroticism (N) as the positive charge on Extroversion (E). Introverts, anxious, depressed and vulnerable people, will have problem practice assertiveness etc. Try to built more patterns, using the same way to interpret the data. Why is it difficult for a people with high Agreeableness score to be assertive? Why is it difficult for people with very high Conscientiousness score to be assertive? Why is it easy for an extrovert to be assertive? What score did you get? Are you assertive or do you need to train?

Want to learn more? Do a BIG 5 personality test and compare the results with the results from the assertiveness test. What do you find?

What is Assertive?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpXmRjbCNOM

How to improve the skill?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QPVWvkBnhI

Want to read more?
https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2YLVSHHPFA2Y0&keywords=when+i+say+no+i+feel+guilty&qid=1566036531&s=gateway&sprefix=when+I+say+%2Caps%2C227&sr=8-1
Clinical-experimental psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychology at UCLA, Manuel J. Smith



Assertiveness is one out of 5 most important skills for the future: Curiosity, Assertiveness, Grit, Empathy, Sense of Urgency – CAGES.


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